I Am An Exit

by Born Gold

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1.
03:27
2.
03:07
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03:03
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02:55
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03:03
10.
04:23

credits

released 08 October 2013

Written, performed, recorded and produced by Cecil Frena. /// Additional sampled instrumentation by Eric Cheng, Jay Rattman, Janet Sora, Doug Hoyer, Mary Wood. /// Mixed by Justin Gerrish. Mastered by Real Cardinal. /// Artwork by Leslie Predy. Art direction by Cecil Frena. /// borngold.us /// Thanks to all.

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Track Name: Abdomen
Abdomen

you’re always glad for discontent
but don’t ever let it be faceless
no, let’s pin its abdomen
to the wall

your wound is not a lazy smile
and life is not a stylish film
but we can get so close if
the lighting is right

you’re always glad for discontent
but don’t ever let it be faceless
no, let’s pin its abdomen
to the wall

never spoil a winning tryst
you shoplifter, thieving virgins
sipping boys’ young blood and dreaming of art

to a dream from a lack,
as simple as that

first he hit you, then you forgot it
till he held you up by the neck
once the tiny
black dots had started
you just could not stop laughing
Track Name: Hunger
Hunger

dear dear you should know
that i’ve become vain
or maybe i just
care for little things
i think that’s a change

dear dear you should know
each crease of my mind
how i hate to be clear
when all beauty is silent
this must be a change

now i can almost tell
how long you’ve kept me ill
but still the
hunger rises from the hunger

my bones are bending from
how sick you’ve kept me love
but still the
hunger rises from the hunger

dear dear you should know
that i’m trying to leave
my blood has dried black
and the wallpaper’s peeling
i think that’s a change

dear dear you should know
that i’m doing alright
treading water for days
in an ocean of night
Track Name: Gasoline Bath
Gasoline Bath

my love is a miser’s love
i save it, i save it
you took a bath with gasoline
and your skin is barely dry

stillborn in an oil slick
sweet angel of asphalt
what i’d give to watch you crawl
beneath red heaven’s pyre

when i see you i get vertigo
a thought’s brought to its knees
like a mirror indiscernible
through the blossoms of gasoline

and of course i’ve said too much
because i still feel the same
how can you think
that we should love
when we were both made for

i don’t want to feel your love or
daylight, daylight at all
sometimes, the words you say
i can barely even mouth

in a thousand prisms
and more hours
to gaze through their cuts
i won’t find the freeness of
your form in my own lines
Track Name: Clever Animals
Clever Animals

we beautiful chameleons
look you in the eye
while we change our shape
i could never respect
your consonance:
my jaw’s too wide
to want one thing

we beautiful chameleons
laughing in the dark
while we stalk our prey
i’ll admit sometimes
i'm hideous:
that's just the price
of being brave

not to walk on water
but to dance on air

we beautiful chameleons
swimming through the dust
that the breathing shed
why be safe
when we could
be colorful:
let virtue take
her sacred nap

we beautiful chameleons
singing into wounds
that are freshly traced
it pays to be a
clever animal,
but thinking's
just forgetting
anyway
Track Name: Strange Wind
Strange Wind

we slip through
the night like thieves
god’s small mistakes

this world is not for us
now anyway

barely feel your touch at all
or a word you hiss

ride this strange wind
blowing through us
oh dangerous yes

give me your desperation
and still my trembling bones
dull bells
from the deep are tolling
and our age is starting to show

if we fight, it we fight it
but just tonight

bedspread over shattered glass
glowstick cigarette

sky’s sleepless endless mouth
snows down glowing ash

and there’s everything but mirrors
inside our flat

all we do here is get lost
oh dangerous yes
Track Name: I Am the Bent Blade
I Am the Bent Blade

i am the bent blade
i cut one at a time
my eyes are open
but you can’t reach my mind

temperance faded and
edges serrated
i am the bent blade
i will make you mine

when deep midnight buries day
we are lawless, or so we say
turn your eyes from all the
cries that try to reach you

i am the bent blade
i cut one at a time
naked at birth but
well dressed by demise

ambition's wet gums are
trembling on your neck
i am the bent blade
i will make you mine

when deep midnight buries day
we are lawless, or so we say

when deep midnight buries day
a joy for which i have no name

turn your eyes from all the
cries that try to reach you.
Track Name: Boy Foundry
Boy Foundry

solitude is life’s brightest fire,
but we’re afraid of
the slightest scald
you would rather ravage yourself
than not speak of yourself at all

do you remember
my surrender’s first blush?
no thing more vile
than eyes that adore you
because what is a man with nothing left to hide

am i too weak to be wicked?
i hope you never know.

when you see my face in a world of masks, does it look the same?
self-control is nothing but my tired vanity on display

everything has a slow decay
but contempt’s bloom is forever

am i too weak to be wicked?
i hope you never know

if i bore you
i can never forgive you.
Track Name: No Reflection
No Reflection

dress up my bones
with your hungry stare
i cant tell your breath
from the sober air.

the heaves and the moans
of your ancient sighs
and black young devil’s eyes,
dead model eyes.

never say a word
that doesn’t sweat.
you told me.

did i pass through fire
to the smile that shows
the caverns of your skull
in the screen’s dull glow

disaster and joy always nearby
and black young devil’s eyes,
dead model eyes.

your spine's little chicken wing
a twisted gray wisp
you should hunch from each end
but a frame built in ash
isn’t likely to bend.

your split little cloven hooves,
the desert's rolling corpse
and i’m still out of sorts.
Track Name: Braille
Braille

our figures are the same
stretched thin and pale

and i know my skin will wilt
so i touch yours like braille

“i can always find my way out”
you whisper in a playful vow

i dont know
if you’ll remember me
the lies that you told me
were memories

our wrinkles are the same
i’ve scoured so closely

i’ve seen the thought
light up your face
but the words have stone feet

can you find your way out
when walls have passed
to dust and clouds
and a monsoon’s rising?

death’s little whistle is tonedeaf.
Track Name: Butcher
Butcher

young love how will you know
the bowels of my malice
young love how will you know
the exit that i am

young love how will you know
that my gift’s a tiny violence
young love how will you know
that i’m acting like a man

so fall into my trap
fair scorpion, so rapt
but i wont i won’t i won’t
look smart when you smile

so take the kind words back
be a mirror over sand
cause i want i want i want
only your abandon

young love how will you know
the chasm of ambition
young love how will you know
the fissure of the win

young love how will you know
the streets i swam to lose you
young love how will you know
that i’m acting like a man

young love how will you know
that my gift’s a tiny violence.